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THE
BIBLE
Can we trust a book written 2000 years ago?
EYEWITNESS
Did the writers of the New Testament get their picture of Jesus right?
GOD
- MAN
Is Jesus really God?
RESURRECTION
Did Jesus really rise from the dead?
RELIGIONS
With so many religions, why Christianity?
SUFFERING
If there is a God, why is there so much suffering?
TRINITY
Understanding the Trinity.
SCIENCE
The complementary nature of Science & Christianity.
FORGIVENESS
What it is and why it matters?
GUIDANCE
How does God guide?
REPENTANCE
What it is and why you can't get to heaven without it.
BORN
AGAIN
What does it mean to be converted and born again?
SAVING
FAITH
The kind of faith that will get you to heaven
ASSURANCE
Can I know for sure that I am going to heaven?
TRUTH
What is truth and does it matter?
MORALITY
Does it matter how we live? A Christian view of morality.
THE
CHURCH
God's vision for his family, the Church. A call to the churches of the
new millennium.
PURPOSE
How
can I find a great purpose for living?
IDENTITY
Who am I; Finding my true identity as a human being and as a child of
God.
SELF-ESTEEM
How
can I feel good about my self? The Christian basis for proper sel-esteem.
LIFE AFTER DEATHChristianity's Hope & Challenge.
THE CROSS
Why did Jesus Die? What the Bible says about the Cross.
Grace
The importance of grace in the New Testament.
Results of low Self-esteem
Most of our feelings about ourselves are built into us in childhood. If we were fortunate to have loving parents who conveyed our worth in their relationship to us, and if we grew up in a safe environment with positive relationships with peers, teachers and role models, then it is likely we will feel reasonably good about ourselves. However, if faced with negative influences in childhood, it may not take much to tip the balance the other way. A recent study of 15,600 American school students, grades 6 to 10, showed that bullying is widespread in their schools. Duane Alexander, director of the research, says, "People who were bullied as children are more likely to suffer from depression and low self-esteem, well into adulthood." Whatever the causes of low self-esteem, the effect on our future lives can be very significant.
In her book Your Child's Self-Esteem, Dorothy Corkville Briggs, educator and child counsellor, says:
Your child's judgment of himself influences the kinds of friends he chooses, how he gets along with others, the kind of person he marries, and how productive he will be. It affects his creativity, integrity, stability, and even whether he will be a leader or follower. His feelings of self-worth form the core of his personality and determine the use he makes of his aptitudes and abilities. His attitude towards himself has a direct bearing on how he lives all parts of his life. In fact, self-esteem is the mainspring that slates every child for success or failure as a human being.
Stephen Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, tells a classic story of how people's attitudes towards us can affect our view of ourselves, and consequently our behaviour, particularly so when we are young. In a school in England a computer was accidentally programmed incorrectly. In academic terms, it labelled a class of 'bright' children 'dumb' and a class of supposedly 'dumb' children 'bright'. That computer report was the primary criterion used by the teachers for their teaching programme with the children at the beginning of the year.
When the school administration finally discovered the mistake five and a half months later, they decided to test the children again without telling anyone what had happened. The results were amazing. The 'bright' children had gone down significantly in IQ test points. They had been seen and treated as mentally limited, uncooperative and difficult to teach. The teacher's perceptions had become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But scores in the supposedly 'dumb' group had gone up. The teachers had treated them as though they were bright, and their energy, their hope, their optimism, their excitement had reflected high individual expectations and worth for those children.
No doubt there are other factors at work in society that contribute to the low value we put upon ourselves. As Arnold Toynbee put it, technology demotes persons into serial numbers, "punched on a card and designed to travel through the entrails of a computer." Ethnologists like Desmond Morris tell us that human beings are nothing but animals, and behaviourists like B. F. Skinner say that we are nothing but machines programmed to make automatic responses to external stimuli. But whatever the reason, the effects on our lives become only too obvious. Joan Lloyd Guest, in an article Feeling Worthless...and How to Get Over It, in HIS magazine says:
Low self-esteem is destructive. It can affect all aspects of our lives: it can contribute to our fear of rejection (which causes us to avoid closeness); make us respond to loved ones with anger and defensiveness; keep us from communicating our true feelings; keep us isolated, unable to be vulnerable; and affect our physical health by causing digestive disorders or high blood pressure.
Worse yet, a poor self-image often feeds a vicious circle. The very things we do because we feel worthless tend to make us less desirable to friends and family, thereby cutting us off from the warmth we desperately seek. This cycle can spin a person into a deep depression.
Well-known Anglican minister, David Watson, quoted one student psychiatrist who had spent many years dealing with militants, radicals and extremists, who said, "Psychologically I have found most student extremists hating themselves as intensely as they hate the establishment."
Though it is risky to generalise, and low self-esteem is a problem that has no regard for a person's gender, it may be a larger problem for women. Missionary wife Jean Boardman said that she had met very few self-assured women anywhere in the world. She called this low self-esteem the biggest block in the Christian life. Women, she said, see themselves in relationship to others. They are by nature the nurturers, but they face the danger of placing too much emphasis on the way others see them. It is significant that, according to results of a survey reported in The Week, in 2000, 72,000 women in the UK had plastic surgery in pursuit of youth and beauty. One in three women admit to having considered surgery and NatWest say that a fifth of all bank loans are taken out to pay for cosmetic surgery.
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Results of low self-esteem
PART 2 - The basis of a proper self-esteem; The creation of a loving God
Worth a great deal, though unworthy
